It's a little bit funny . . .

A couple years ago (and by "a couple" I mean ten, but that was just too painful to write) I was a fresh little Freshman at BYU. Go Cougs! I knew exactly what I wanted to major in- English. I wasn't exactly sure what part of English, but for sure something Englishy. But, when I got to college, I noticed that no one really knew what they wanted to do, so I thought there was something wrong with me, coming to college with a plan, 'n all. I thought, "How boring, to just, ya know, come to college, and, like, graduate in four years." So, I decided that I, too, would try to look complex, or, thoughtful at the very least. I went to the counseling office in the WILK and took one of those tests that tells you what your best career choice would be, then I planned to choose my major based on the results.

I was very excited. The test would take about an hour, so I got some chocolate milk from the Creamery and a box of Junior Mints, and settled in for my test that I hoped would ultimately decide my future. My goal was, and has always been, to be home with my kids, but I didn't know when I would actually get married, (I mean, I was already a couple months into my Freshman year at BYU and I wasn't even married yet. It was SO embarrassing!) so I hoped the career they chose for me would be a good job until I got married and had kids and, perhaps, something I could use after I had kids.

As I took the test, though I don't really remember, but I can imagine, the words from Elton John's Your song, serenaded me:

If I was a sculptor, heh, but then again-No!
Or a man, who makes potions in a traveling sho-o-ow-ow
I know it's not mu-u-ch but it's the best I can do-o-o . . .

Yes, those sounded like very worthy professions, but, as George Bailey would say, (and I would imitate freakishly well) "I want to do something big, something important!" Yes, I hoped my test would tell me that I could qualify to do something big and important.

Finally, the moment of truth. I finished my last question, and sent it in. I eagerly waited at the desk, excitedly anticipating to know what my big and important role in life would be. The girl behind the desk (who had probably been at BYU for three months and was probably already married- again, I was so embarrassed) gave me my long list of possible careers. Number one on the list??
A Ventriloquist.

Let me say that again, in case the tears in your eyes from either laughing or crying have blurred your vision- A Ventriloquist. I left the office and showed my sisters my list and we laughed until we cried.

Anyway, I eventually did get married. :) I even made it all the way to my Junior year as a single gal! I did graduate in English and had my little babies. I've worked at many different places, including the Creamery, (where I continued to drink my beloved chocolate milk) and ended up working as a BYU Operator for a couple years. I am now doing my biggest and most important job. No, I don't have a fake little man on my lap with tons of make-up, particularly lipstick and eyeliner with huge eyebrows and weird straw-like floppy hair and wide, bulging eyes, not that people who can do that aren't very talented. But I do have a cute, chubby little baby on my lap with chubby cheeks and no make-up and a head full of soft, fluffy hair, and he's making sounds even when I'm not . . . or am I?

Now, I don't want to offend any ventriloquists out there. They can be very entertaining and really, really good. I actually used to try really hard to "ventriloquistize" when I was little. But, don't ya think it's a little bit funny? As Sir Elton John would say, "This post's for you!"