Mama called the doctor and the doctor said...

No more coumadin before you go to bed.

That's right. Last night, for the first time in over six months, I went to bed without taking any medicine- no pain killers, no blood thinners, no antibiotics. I am so unbelievably happy, but there's also this strange sadness that I will attempt to explain.

The farther and farther I get from my experience, I feel like I lose some of that gratitude for literally every breath I take. At the same time, I can't dwell on all that happened in the hospital and in the days and weeks after I got home, mostly because it's completely exhausting. But a part of me still misses that constant feeling of gratitude and awe. The more time passes, the more I forget, and the more other people forget, and life just goes on - which is actually the most incredible miracle of all. I think the key is that life must go on, but it can't go on "as if nothing ever happened." I hope I have taken everything I could from my experience before all of it is just a distant, though life-changing, memory.

So, back to being done with the medicine. The doctor said I have reached the point in my coumadin-taking that the risks may outweigh the benefits. Right now, I have a tennis ball-sized bruise on my calf and I have no idea how it got there. I also have about ten lovely silver dollar-sized bruises all over my legs. The thinner my blood, the easier I bruise, and the more I bleed.

Here is an example:

The other day, I cut my finger while making lunch. It bled for two days straight. I had a cotton ball and three band-aids on day and night (which made doing dishes and giving baths an adventure) and I would still bleed all the way through. It was great fun to get in the car and see blood all over the door and realize I was bleeding all over the place. :)

"Boy! That must have been cut!" you may say. Here it is:
Yeah, that's it. :) You're probably wondering why I don't have a wedding ring on. Well, when I was in the ICU, I swelled up really bad and they had to cut my ring off which I had never taken off since Gary gave it to me. Luckily, it wasn't my official diamond wedding ring, just my little gold band I wore everyday. I could change diapers without worrying about scratching little babies and things like that. :)

Anyway, it's time to be off the blood thinners. I just need to watch for shortness of breath, swollen legs, racing heartbeat, profuse sweating, fatigue, etc. which could indicate a clot. I'll have blood tests again in a couple weeks that will make sure I'm all healed, then I'll get to relax and hopefully know that everything is OK. We're hoping the clots have already been surrounded by scar tissue, and reabsorbed. That's how you "get rid" of clots. The tests will be able to determine if that has happened. They couldn't test me yesterday because of all my bruises, which can throw the test off.

The Group A Strep blood infection I had is not a concern. Just that I got it in the first place is still perplexing to the doctors. They've been studying my case, which I'll hear more about when I go to my other doctor in a few weeks. I'll have ultrasounds done to check on everything.

I'm planning on doing a "recovery" post soon. This one is just an update on how things are now. I can't believe it's already been six months, but when I look back at far I've come, six months ago feels like a totally different lifetime. I just can't believe that, as far as we know at this point, I'm all better. It is a miracle.